Hook, Line, and Sinker
by Barbie Shoes
Summary: "What the hell does letting Hook kiss you have to do with me?" – Swan Queen. Fluffy, and do not be deceived by the description, there is no peen in this story I promise! OneShot.


_A/N: This was just a kind of funny little idea I had based on the (horrid) theory that Emma and Mary Margaret are actually Hook and Cora in disguise when they return to Storybrooke. But I made it into Swan Queen fluff, so it's ok now! Haha_

_Not my best work writing-wise, but it's as good as its gonna get with this one._

* * *

"Regina, is everything alright?" I asked from the doorway, feeling as though even that simple question was too prying and personal to be asking this woman.

She had just dropped off Henry, kissing the top of his head then turning to leave without so much as a quip or a glare in my direction. Which, to be honest, was pretty much the standard lately.

After Mary Margaret and I returned from Fairytale Land, Regina and I had developed an awkward – yet, so far, functional – coparenting system. It shuffled Henry back and forth between our homes for various weekends, dinners, and sleepovers, and was far from ideal, but it worked. For now.

From the outside it appeared we'd simply reached an uneasy truce, but there was something in her indifference that didn't quite sit right with me.

She turned back around, her irritation well masked, though I'd come to see though that facade quite easily. It's funny, the details you can learn about another person if you pay close enough attention. Even if you're not trying to. Or trying not to.

"Of course, dear," she replied, with a plastic grin. "Shouldn't it be?"

It really shouldn't be, actually – not after everything that had happened. After the curse breaking and the town coming for her head. After Henry blaming her for Mary Margaret and I being sucked into, and trapped in, another world. After being forced to kill her former fiancé, and especially not after Hook and that bitch Cora came to town.

After all that, she really ought to be an emotional wreck. Saying everything was fine only made me even more skeptical. I wanted to tell her it was okay to not be fine, that I could be there for her if she needed to fall apart. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I was too chicken to go through with it.

"It's just," I shrugged, falling back on my original reason for asking. "You've been acting all weird around me, lately."

Regina sighed, clearly not wishing to indulge me. "How so?"

"I don't know..." I shrunk back a bit, realizing that, as usual, I hadn't really thought this through before mentioning it. "You've been nicer, but stand-offish. Like you don't hate me anymore, but you want to be around me even less."

"That's it?" she sneered, looking off to the side with what I had believed to be disinterest – until that very moment, it hit me.

"And you can't look me in the eye," I proclaimed knowingly. Our eyes did meet then, briefly, before hers rolled exaggeratedly to the side and continued staring into the middle distance. She pursed her lips in annoyance, crossed her arms over her chest, but said nothing.

"Oh, come on, Regina!" I groaned. "Who are you kidding?"

Her hands flew back down to her sides in fists. She let out a petulant huff, and I half expected her to stomp her feet. She pulled herself together, though her hands remained balled at her thighs. "Something happened..."

"Clearly," I snorted. "Anything specific?"

That earned me a glare, and I couldn't help but feel slightly pleased with myself for igniting that little spark of the Regina I knew in her eyes. She sighed dramatically.

"With Killian – Hook. He was very flirtatious, very seductive." She paused, shaking her head, scoffing at herself with a humorless smirk. "In retrospect, I really ought to have realized something was off. I let my eyes deceive me though, and when he leaned in to kiss me, I let it happen."

I waited for the story to continue, but it seemed Regina felt it had reached it's end. I shook my head in confusion, biting back that sour taste of jealousy in my throat.

"What the hell does letting Hook kiss you have to do with me?" Even I could hear the bitterness leaking through my words when I spat the man's name, and I cringed, waiting for the callous retort.

It never came. She just stood there, tight lipped and defiant.

"Seriously, Regina?" I was getting tired of this game. "Either tell me wha–"

"Because I thought it _was_ you!" She cut me off sharply, her gaze now boring directly into me and making me feel incredibly unnerved.

"I... I'm sorry, what?" I stuttered after a moment. "Are you high?"

Regina clicked her tongue disdainfully. "No, _Emma_. I am perfectly sober."

"Yet you mistook Hook, who is, among other things," I tried to refrain from taking offense until I understood as I stressed, "a _man_, as me..."

"Magic, dear," Regina didn't bat an eyelash, smirking just a little now. "He was quite cleverly disguised as you."

Oh, right. Magic. I still kept forgetting about that.

"And you let him kiss you," I reiterated.

"Yes."

"But you thought it was me."

An exasperated sigh. "Yes, Miss Swan. Do catch up, please."

The pieces finally clicked together, and my heart started beating double time.

"So, basically, you let me kiss you."

"Glad we are on the same page. Good day, Sherrif." With that, Regina spun on her heel to leave once again.

"Whoa, whoa, wait up!" I shouted at her back, desperate for her to stay and finish the conversation. "You can't just drop a bombshell like that and walk away!"

"What more would you have me say?" She laughed hollowly. "I should have known it wasn't you. You wouldn't be nearly so, shall we say, _suave_."

"But you did think it was me," I argued coyly, the rest of the picture now slowly coming into focus. "And you know what I think? I think you wanted to think it was me, and so you fell for it... _Hook_, line, and sinker."

The look of suprise on her face was gone almost before it could be registered. She straightened up, fixing her blank expression back in place.

"Your puns are somewhat less than charming, dear," she said dryly, turning her back to me once again.

I stood slack jawed for a moment, watching her march towards the end of the sidewalk. She was seriously going to just walk away like it was no big deal? This woman was infuriating, to say the least.

"Dammit, Regina!" At my wits end, I yelled the one thought that seemed to be playing on repeat in my head. "You let me kiss you and I wasn't even there!"

Now at the end of the walk, she turned, only halfway, sounding tired as she asked, "Your point being?"

I huffed and sputtered incredulously a few times before replying, in a tone more whiney than I'd have hoped, "That is so not fair!"

She blinked, and shook her head. She didn't say anything, but she was looking at me – actually looking at me – for the first time since I'd returned. Her mask was off, and I could see that I had somehow managed to say the right thing, even if I hadn't exactly said it right.

Before she could replace the mask, before she had time to react, I hastily sprinted down the walk. I spun her the rest of the way towards me, and, without any further warning, kissed her squarely on the lips. Not even her surprise prevented her from responding almost immediately. By the time we pulled apart, we were both breathless.

Unwilling to relinquish the moment completely just yet, my hands continued to cup her cheeks, keeping her face close.

"Instead of dropping Henry off tomorrow," I suggested hopefully, "maybe we could all have dinner together?"

Regina smiled with a small nod. "I'd like that very much."

I kissed her again, quickly this time, knowing someone was bound to come see what the hold up was at any moment. I walked backwards several paces towards the house before turning around and heading for the door.

"Emma," I heard her call just as I reached for the knob. I looked back, and she waited until our eyes met again, smiling as she said, "I much prefer the real thing."

With that, she walked off into the night, while I took just a moment longer on the stoop to feel the butterflies in my stomach and the goofy grin on my face.


End file.
